or wants, rather.

+fancy camera
+jeep wrangler

Alright. I posted this list right before my dad brought out his camera to show us pictures he took on his trip to Pakistan today.
I’d be happy if I never got any of these things. The photos he showed us were so humbling. We have so much, and the people in my dad’s old town have so little. And people elsewhere have even less.

Then he pulled out the gifts he got us. He brought back a bunch of small things from Pakistan; scarves, key chains, jewelry, and a few traditional clothes. Then he pulled out the hats and wallets for my brothers, and designer bags he got us on his stop in Paris on his way home. I immediately felt bad.
I’ll be posting some pictures from Pakistan as soon as I can.

I feel like I learned a lot during my break at home this time around. People who used to mean so much to me are now such a small part of my life, and I used to be so preoccupied with it, like it was the only thing that mattered. The importance of patience is becoming so much more apparent now.
I was once bitter, so I know what it looks like when other people feel that way. Don’t try to rush your feelings away. Just be patient and things will eventually get better. All good things come to an end, but better things often come in their place. And every bad experience only makes you stronger. So always remember to be patient.

a change of heart, headscarf

I’ve been inspired to do some research about wearing the hijab, a head covering traditionally worn by Muslim women (the term hijab refers to the entire modest dress, but I’ll be referring to the head scarf), by one of my really great friends, who recently decided to take off her hijab. I had known about her decision because of facebook photos, and as many times as we spoke to each other, the topic of her removing her headscarf never came up. I never asked, and she never mentioned it. Until earlier today.

Yesterday, I noticed that another one of my friends had removed her hijab since last year. Someone asked me about it, and I didn’t know what to say. Usually when girls take off their hijabs, it’s always assumed by everyone that they’ve changed in one way or another. I don’t think many people stop to ask for a reasoning behind it.

Anyway, I thought it was unfair to make judgments before talking to this former hijabis, and so I’ve decided to do some journalism and post my findings on my blog for everyone to see. In the next couple of weeks inshaAllah, I’ll be asking former hijabis, current hijabis, and random people about their opinions about women who wear the hijab. With their permission, of course, I’ll be sharing their thoughts and opinions with all of you, and I’ll also tell the story of my own personal decision to wear the hijab, and my uncertainty with it, and how it has helped shape who I am today.

This is completely random, I know, but it’s a very curious topic and I get questions all the time about why I wear it, and when I started to wear it. Especially today, when people are so focused on this one image of beauty being portrayed in the media, it’s often times hard for hijabis to fit in. This layer of cloth wrapped around a woman’s head isn’t seen by too many others as a favored accessory.

Anyway, I have a lot to say, as do many others, and I’m excited to write it all down and publish it as a blog post in a couple of weeks.

Erase Me – Kid Cudi

He said I don’t spend time
like I really should
He said he don’t know me,
I think he hates me deep down
I know he does
He wants to erase me
A couple days no talking,
I seen my baby
And this what he tells me
He said
I keep on running, keep on running
and nothing works
I can’t get away from you,
I keep on ducking, keep on ducking
and nothing helps
I can’t stop missing you


Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

 words can’t even describe how it felt to wake up to this sunrise!

200th post and I’m completely lost

too much is going on in my head right now.

i’m so homesick.

i’ve never been homesick like this before. maybe because my best friends are so far away, and I don’t feel like anyone is in my reach anymore. my dad just left for a month-long trip and it’s weird because we’ve never had to make a long-distance call to each other before…

I just want everyone I love to be in one place, with me.

i’m wondering about what i’m studying, not sure what the hell I want to do anymore.
big dreams, but not enough motivation.
and reality always kicks in.

i just want to be abroad right now. and go running.

I’m also getting really good at complaining. it’s gross.

a million ideas are dancing around in my head, and I don’t know what to do with them.

“I don’t even know what I was running for – I guess I just felt like it.” – J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye


What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see someone limited, or someone free?
All some people can do is just look and stare
Simply because they can’t see my hair.
Others think I am controlled and un-educated
They think that I am limited and un-liberated
They are so thankful that they are not me
Because they would like to remain ‘free’.
Well free isn’t exactly the word I would’ve used
Describing women who are cheated on and abused
They think that I do not have opinions or voice
They think that being hooded isn’t my choice.
They think that the hood makes me look caged
That my husband or dad are totally outraged
All they can do is look at me in fear
And in my eye there is a tear.
Not because I have been stared at or made fun of
But because people are ignoring the one up above
On the day of judgment they will be the fools
Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules.
Maybe the guys won’t think I am a cutie
But at least I am filled with more inner beauty
See I have declined from being a guy’s toy
Because I won’t let myself be controlled by a boy.
Real men are able to appreciate my mind
And aren’t busy looking at my behind
Hooded girls are the ones really helping the Muslim cause
The role that we play definitely deserves applause.
I will be recognized because I am smart and bright
And because some people are inspired by my sight
The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they were me
We have the strength to do what we think is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight
You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt
We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt
So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated
We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated
We are the ones that are free and pure
We’re free of STD’s that have no cure
So when people ask you how you feel about the hood
Just sum it up by saying, ‘Baby, it’s all good.’
I’m not sure of the source of this poem, but I’ve always liked it and decided to share 🙂