Heyyy. can we talk about gum? kayythanksss.
Gum is pretty much the greatest thing ever invented (not really)
its like….so necessary. all day you feel like your breath stinks if you don’t have gum in your mouth…even if you brushed your teeth for the full 2 minutes in the morning! even if your breath really doesnt stink, you need gum so that when you’re talking to people you’re not breathing all over them with the breath of the last thing you ate. or sometimes someone elses breath stinks…and you want to offer them gum but its a little obvious if you pull it out and just offer them some randomly. plus, sometimes they don’t accept it! thats annoying.
and if you’re bored and you have gum, you can have a bubble blowing contest!! it doesnt work too well with the minty gums, but with the obese gums (bubbalicious) its so greattt and the bubbles are gigantic!
and it’s a proven fact that chewing gum relieves stress!! so its really nice to have at school during tests.
my favorite gum ever is probably the Arabic version of Chiclets!!! they taste like a tree!! thats the only way i can describe them. they taste amazing, but like all Chiclet’s, they run out of flavor in like 2 seconds!!
okay so this blog is really about how last week I gave my bfffff, anonymous, a piece of gum and he chewed it and chewed it and chewed it (with his mouth open like a cow!! =) LOL jk) until there was no more flavor left.
AND THEN…he took it out of his mouth and …. and….. stuck it underneath the desk!!!!!!!!! I KNOWW, RIGHT? okay so i was like ‘hey Anonymous, how about you either put that back in your mouth or go throw it away because what if someone gets it on their beautiful leather cowboy boots (like mine)?? and he said ‘no one puts their feet up underneath their desk!! don’t worry!’
and then the next class, i was crossing my legs the way guys do it…and then i take my leg down and i feel something holding my leg back…and i look… and its a piece of gum!!! it was like connected to my jeans!! EW!!! so i calmly moved my leg and wiped the gum off my jeans. Anonymous on my left was being a super drama queen like FREAKING OUT. i was like…’look, bitch. you need to CALM DOWN. i will wash them’ and he vowed to dispose of his gum properly from then on (even though it wasnt his gum that i got on my jeans). that gum was disgusting, though. i was like ‘hey gum, can you please get off? i have a hot date after class and you can’t just be chillen there on my leg.
and the gum was like ‘sure, i just like you…. a lot’
luckily, since i made page 2 of the newspaper and the picture was HORRIBLE, i ripped up Anonymous’s newspaper and used it as a napkin for my jeans.